I decided to add one more book to my "Ongoing Projects" list: Violine - Vol. 3 - The Iron Claw. (Thanks for providing me with the RAWs, data 9724!) The first two books have already been translated by Jan Panda, so I'll simply continue where he left off.
Violine - Vol. 3 - The Iron Claw, p. 01-04: Download (updated 2012-01-04)
just a few spelling recommendations:
ReplyDeletePage 1
Panel 5
this is the one for girls... (the 'the' is redundant)
Page 2
Panel 7
You've got three guesses...
Panel 9
destroying my stamp collection wasn't enough for her!
when she ran away!...
Page 3
Panel 1
That's incredible!
deport violine back (just a suggestion, since not too many people may know what repatriate means)
Panel 3
You'll join her in Africa
Panel 4
She'll become very sick and it'll be a piece of cake
Panel 5
Surely you don't want to risk her health! The poor little girl doesn't deserve this.
Page 4
Panel 4 Whoa! Calm down! I only met him two or three times
Panel 5
It still gives me goosebumps!
Thanks for the feedback! :)
ReplyDeletePage 1 - Panel 5
"this is the one for girls... (the 'the' is redundant)"
There are only two lanes in total: one for girls, one for boys. So I figured it makes sense to say that he is in the wrong one and not "a" wrong one.
Page 2 - Panel 7
"You've got three guesses..."
Is that "you've" instead of "you" a BE vs. AE thing? Because I've heard both versions before.
Panel 9
"destroying my stamp collection wasn't enough for her!
when she ran away!..."
Okay, I'll change that.
Page 3 - Panel 1
"That's incredible!"
Okay, I'll change that, too.
"deport violine back (just a suggestion, since not too many people may know what repatriate means)"
*facepalms* Of course! "Deport"! I still remember how I was doing that page and thought: "Now, what was the English word for that again?"
Panel 3
"You'll join her in Africa"
Hm, I didn't shorten the "you will" because I felt that it would put more emphasis on her words. So that it sounds more like an order.
Panel 4
"She'll become very sick and it'll be a piece of cake"
Okay, I'll change that.
Panel 5
"Surely you don't want to risk her health! The poor little girl doesn't deserve this."
I'll fix that.
Page 5 - Panel 4
"Whoa! Calm down! I only met him two or three times"
Yeah, that sound better. I'll fix it.
Panel 5
"It still gives me goosebumps!"
Okay, I'll change that, too.
Thanks again fo the feedback!